Review: Rise of the Zombies

     Todays festering flick is ‘Rise Of The Zombie’
     Alright! Gore fest right off the bat. Who needs backstory when you can just mow down zombies in a suv rollin down lombard street SF, literally rolling.
     Wait, where did all the zombies come from anyway? Well good thing, French Stuart, of ‘Third Rock From the Sun’ is here to explain- sort of- with the help of a monkey named, Courtney.

     This B star cast keeps on comin with LaVar Burton of ‘Reading Rainbow’- I mean Geordi Laforge from ‘Start Trek,’
     And Danny Trejo of ‘Machete.’
     Plus many more familiar faces.
     It seems we have a group of survivors now living on Alcatraz, but even here they aren’t safe from the shambling undead, and it dosn’t take long for the zombie storm to come.
     Certainly no lack of action or zombified extras at this gore party.
     Now only a few peoples are left on Alkatraz island and they are fighting for a place on the next raft out. Of course not everyone can fit, so Geordi- I mean, Dr. Halpurn, is gonna stay behind in hopes of studying the undead to find a cure for all this zombie madness.
     The others go on their merry way, but they aren’t inhumane, they left the good doctor a bullet.
     More zombie killing action!
     They race to escapies, but oh no, aqua zombies! Luckily only a few are taken by the floating dead.
     Meanwhile back on Alcatraz, the doctor is attempting to communicate with and experiment upon his zombified girlfriend.
     Discord and animosity is brewing amongst the rafting party.
     Oh no, watch out Machete, contortionist zombie is out to get you!
     Back to the doc, blah blah, scientific, blah- Lets try electricity!
     Ahh more zombies attacking our search parties! And who do they find in the back of an abandoned ambulance?
     Aww, isn’t the little ankle biter cute? Oh no zombie baby!
     Blah blah, theological debates, blah.
     Doc’s zombies? His test subject is starving, and he’s the only fresh meat around… I’ll save you the details on that one.
     Like any good zombie movie, a majority of the begining cast is  being picked off, reasonably maimed, and forced to atempt surval of the undead holocaust.
     Will our heroes survive?
     Will they succumb to the zombie plague?
     Will they all loose the will to live and commit suicide?
     Will french stuart reappear with vital plot information?
     Guess you’ll have to watch to find out.
     Final fright: Zombie baby!
     Kudos up for successfully executing an excruciatingly exciting post outbreak zombie movie. All and all its your typical zombie movie, but the effects are gruesomely good, the action is undying, and the gore flows like a fine – congealed – zombie wine… Yeah.
     A fun gore fest to put on in the background of a halloween party or crepy laboratory studdy session. As for actually siting down to a good movie? I might continue my search.
     Three clawas up
     Until next time, Unpleasant Screams,
     XX Kidna Styx

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