Review: Insidious

     Todays devious delight is ‘Insidious,’ a tittle formerly on Netflix but should still be findable online. This movie had me up at night wondering if there were spooks watching me in the dark. If your going to watch this and your easily frightened, I might try watching this movie with the lights on. Or maybe try a different movie because it really dosen’t help all that much.

     To start this fearsome flick, we discover a darling child, perfectly asleep in his little bed. All is well, except for that spooky music playing. Oh hello scary shrouded face.
     Enter tittle sequence… Eerie.
     But then we go from eerie music, to none, except for random background noises, which is mind numbingly insane making. They’re setting our teeth on edge already and nothing all that frightening has even happened yet.
     I digress, lets get on with our happy home making family as they settle into their new home.
     -And baby crying… really missing that background music right about now.
     Getting up and getting the family ready in the morning truly is scary.
     I like me some suspense, but man, this suspense really is killing me as they allude to a creepy attic in their new home. Will something sinister happen?
     Oh hey music! Oh no its the creepy kind! Their son has woken up in a coma. Poor family. Que the touchy feely sappy music.
     Well lets just skip over this little episode of general hospital to 3 months later.
     They family has moved their son back into the house for home care.
     But now they’re hearing creepy voices over the baby monitor. Man that baby learned to talk fast, and has a delightfully baritone voice.
     When mom goes to check it out, babes fine- still crying- *grimace*
     Now everyone is hearing things, eerie footsteps, creaky doors, and every annoying noise on the planet at once! Good job sound effects house, come here that I might brain thee.
     Oh, I spy a nice little chalk tribute to ‘Saw,’ do you see it?
     Terrible things are afoot, well, thank goodness a single income teachers salary can afford them to just pick up and move at the drop of a hat.
     Well at least thats all over. New place, new start… Or is it? Were seeing a spooky newsies child ghost amongst other assorted terrors.
     Call an “Exorcist, or the ‘Ghost Busters,’ or a Madam Leota!- I mean Elyse (anyone else got something about Mary in their head suddenly?)
     Lets find us some spooks! Well they certainly aren’t disappointed, even Darth Maul seems to have stopped by for the party.
     Que the seance scene! Complete with creepy gas mask head gear. ‘Poltergeist’ eat your heart out.
     Will Elyse be able to fix their haunting problem?
     Will they truly rid themselves of this ‘Phantom Menace?’ -Ha
     Will this movie get a real soundtrack?”
     Guess you’ll have to watch and find out.
Final Fright: Darth Maul Demon
     Spectacularly spooky, frightfully freaky, and jump out of your seat jolting. If you love shocking suspense movies, I highly recommend this one. If not, drink a lot of water so you can make excuses to go to the bathroom at the scary parts.
Four claws up.
Until next time, unpleasant screams,
Kidna Styx

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