Pandora’s Guidebook to Vampires: Part IV

Hello darklings, Kidna Styx here.

Have you ever found yourself dancing across a club toward a complete strangera person you weren’t even remotely attracted to just moments earlier? Ever seen someone at the gym lift a stack of weights without breaking a sweat?

Well, my dear vampire friend Pandora would like to tell you that it’s not always the alcohol or endorphins! Fortunately for us, Pandora isn’t afraid to “bite and tell” about what’s really going on, as she gives use the inside scoop on a few of the vampire’s best tricks.

Hypnotism

The ability to attract prey is one of the vampire’s best tools. Aside from snakes, what other species on the planet can make their prey come to them? Its almost like shooting fish in a barrel. Good thing vampires are so hard to make or humanity would have been picked off years ago.

Whatever it is, the vampires key to attracting their prey lies in pheromones, not in hypnotism. Once you see a human you want to feed on, the pheromones just start coming. Im sure there are vampires that hypnotize, but I dont see a point in that when your prey is already coming to you like lemmings off a cliff.

That said, no two vampires are alike. Just like humans, we vary in looks, strength, size, and ability. Some prefer to stalk, some seduce, while others simply wait for their prey like a spider in a web. Vampires, above all the supernatural creatures are unique in that people/prey find them fascinating. Maybe its the pheromones, their savage beauty, their alluring mystique, or maybe they just think Brad Pitt was a hot vampire in Interview with the Vampire.

Advice

If you suddenly notice yourself getting into a super mood, you might want to think about what your doing. I wasn’t able to, obviously since I was turned into a vampire—which means having been attracted by one—so take my advice for what it is. Hindsight is 20/20.

The desire will be seriously difficult to ignore. Humans and most animals have the base sense to feed and breed. So I don’t know how much knowing this will help, but try to keep all of this in mind when your sashaying across the dance floor toward someone you did not find remotely attractive a moment before. It’s not always just the alcohol.

Strength

Another happy side effect of being a member of the blood sucking legion is supernatural strength. Just call me the Terminator. No need to hire friends to help me move. I can lift my couch with one hand.

However it does take some getting used to. For instance, I believe in a firm handshake, but I learned to take it easy after sending my friend’s cousin to the emergency room with busted digits. Telling the doc “I just dont know my own strength” didnt go over well. We finally had to tell the doc that he crushed it in a car door.

They ate that up.

Advice

Don’t go around challenging vampires to arm wrestling contests.


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