Pandora’s Guidebook to Vampires: Part II


Welcome to part two of Pandora’s supernatural guide. Last time I gave you a little intro into my vampire world, now lets get down to the nitty-gritty.  Today’s misconception is that Vampire = Goth.

Everyone’s heard stories that warn you of things that go bump in the night—things with fangs and things with claws—but when it comes down to it, would anyone, any human, be ready to bump back? They may disregard things they don’t understand, but pieces would still cling to the subconscious. So, if a person happens to run into one of these beings, they would have that much more chance of surviving the encounter.


Vampire = Goth


I’ve thought about how much easier it would be to explain the pale skin and fangs if I were Gothic. You know what I mean, dye my hair, wear black vinyl and go around scowling at normal people.

I just can’t.

I like Goth stuff actually. Even as a human, Halloween was my favorite holiday. I love to dress up now and again, don the black duds and go to the Goth clubs, but it isn’t an everyday lifestyle for me. It’s too much damned work!

Call me lazy, but I tried it for a couple days. The hair and makeup alone is ridiculous. Not to mention the clothes. Whoever designs Goth wear is not designing it for daily use. It just isn’t practical. They got spikes that catch and rip everything in sight, zippers with no pockets. I mean seriously, how hard is it to make a pocket? If I’m paying a hundred dollars for a pair of pants, I expect a pocket.

Most Vampires don’t dress Goth. True, many of them have their own unique style, usually depending on the time and region of their origin, but most of us are looking to fit in, not stick out. And your average Goths sticks out like Kristie Alley in Daisy Dukes.

What I’m saying is, as much as Goth Kids would like it, Vampire does not equal Goth.



OK, yeah, so goth kids can be a bit strange. I’m not saying make best friends with them because they’re probably not vampires, but we’re less likely to be in that scene since we don’t want to stick out. 

However, there is the occasional vampire that likes the scene, generally vamps who grew up in the 1600’s or 1980’s.

Better advice? I suggest keeping an eye out for the unexpected. Vampires tend to stalk, its rare when one will just attack you out of nowhere. Odds are they saw you somewhere before, possibly earlier that evening. But some will hunt for days before striking to make sure they aren’t seen—and that your blood isn’t polluted. A little blood alcohol buzz is nice every now and again though.

So, if you see a strangely pale person giving you the eye, casually stay away. This also works with strange humans. You probably don’t want to make friends with anyone who is staring at you like you’re a T-bone steak.

Maybe spray some extra perfume on yourself. Vampires cant stand when they cant tell your blood type in one whiff.

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