Pandora’s Guidebook to Vampires: Part VI

 

Hello darklings, Kidna Styx here.

Welcome to part six of Pandora’s Guidebook to Vampires. My vampire friend Pandora Grey Blackheart just had to debunk a few supernatural misconceptions about vampires...

Mirrors

After reading all the vampire propaganda out there, how could anyone believe that vampires don’t have a reflection? I suppose all the movie vamps, especially the Anne Rice variety, just wake up looking that good after sleeping in a coffin all day? No coffin bedhead? I doubt they would rely on a henchman to tell them if they had a cow lick or misplaced makeup.

I don’t see how vampires could possibly have a problem with mirrors. I know I’d be super annoyed if someone told me I had a pimple and I couldn’t look at it in the mirror—Well, happily, we don’t have to deal with acne, but you get the idea.

How did the myth get started? I’ve heard that some vampires started it back in the Renaissance to cover themselves if people got suspicious and a Van Helsing wannabe popped up to cause trouble.

Vamps don’t have many weaknesses to speak of, however, an angry mob in the middle of the day can put a severe kink in one’s chain. So, to avoid being found out, they made sure to spread around as much misinformation as possible—Like, ‘oh I’m not a vampire, vampires can’t be seen in a mirror and can’t stand crosses. I clearly have a reflection and just came back from communion.’

The wannabe hunter would employ stupid tests like that to catch us. Unfortunately, if they ever caught a ‘vampire,’ it was because they employed Salem Witch Trial type methods—e.g., if you were unfortunate enough to have a large birthmark, they would say it was the Devil’s Mark and call you a witch, which means they were guessing.

However, all the vamp hunters ever caught were a bunch of unlucky humans. Should they have caught the real thing—well, let’s just say it would not have turned out too well for their accuser.

The only beings that can contend with vampires are other Supernaturals and Hunters who use far superior methods of dealing with unruly vamps than simple silver mirrors.

Advice

Well the good thing about a mirror is that when shattered it makes a pretty good stabbing tool. Take that for what you will. You can definitely cut a vampire, perhaps enough to get yourself out of its grip. However, unless you have a piece the size of an executioner’s axe, I wouldn’t count on it stopping your fanged aggressor for long.

Pandora’s Guidebook to Vampires: Part V

Hello darklings, Kidna Styx here.

Welcome to part five of Pandoras Guidebook to Vampires. My vampire friend Pandora Grey Blackheart felt she just had to debunk a few supernatural misconceptions about the mother of all vampire mythsthe vampires fiery relationship with the sun.

The Sun

This is the mother of all vampire myths. Its true that the sun affects us. We are like bats in this respect. We are definitely sun-sensitive creatures, but no more than your average nocturnal mammal. Therefore, we tend to sleep during the day. However we will not turn to ash, melt, fizzle, blow up, or catch fire when the sun comes up. As far as I can figure, the sun dries up the super solution that keeps our senses so sharp.

However its not just the light. Its the heat as well. You wont find many vampires in the valley. We dont mind the cold too much, but heat causes problems. Our blood is thicker and circulates slower than humans, which makes us colder. We get uncomfortably hot around eighty degrees Fahrenheit and our standard body temperature is much lower than a human’s. We can stand being up with the sun, but it doesnt take long for it to become unbearable.

In the sun we arent as strong, our senses arent as sharp, and our eyes looka bit on the monstrous side. My eyes are naturally brown but in direct sunlight theyre nearly gold. My Maker’s blue eyes are practically white in the light. But a vampire with green eyes is probably the most disturbing. In direct sunlight, their eyes look yellowWeird. So its always best to have a pair of shades, whether for hiding or protecting the eyes. Not to mention, the sun makes our bodies ache terribly. Been-working-out-in-the-gym-too-long kinda pain. We can still function, but even through walls of steel and concrete we can feel its drain. Not pleasant.

The sun affects each vampire differently depending on time of day, exposure, and age. Some are so sensitive that they never wake during the daylight hours. While others will make an occasional visit to the beach. Some people just love the sun that much I guess. I dont get those guys. They always wonder why theyre not as strong as the other vamps. Prolonged exposure makes you weak, and well, most vampires dont like feeling weak.

It seems to me that vampires are more allergic to the sun than anything. It isnt deadly, as long as there is no one around that wishes you harm. Undoubtedly, the easiest time to kill a vampire is during the day.

I once tried to use my handy super speed to get my day errands done, I couldnt have moved any slower if I were wearing cement shoes. Thankfully in my daily dregs Im about as powerful as your average human. It would be horrible to be completely immobile.

Ive been told that the lack of circulation in vampire skin makes it extremely vulnerable to vitamin D, UV rays, UVA, UVB, and whatever else that comes from the sun. Possibly a combination of all of the above because I know tanning beds dont do shit. We get sunburnt. We’re just worse off than your average albino kid or vitiligo suffer. Our melanin is nearly nil.

Thankfully, the older a vampire is, the less theyre affected by the sun. The first hundred years are apparently the worst. cant wait until I hit my Centennial, but that’s some ways off. Ive been told that after that, its just a nuisance. Ive heard of ancient vampires who roam day and night, but the sun still drains.

Advice

If youre faced with an angry vamp, the sun will give you time to get away, but it will not ultimately keep you safe from a determined vampire. The closer it is to sunset, the less likely they are to attack. However, most vampires know that, so I wouldn’t count on a near-dusk attack you can escape from.

Pandora’s Guidebook to Vampires: Part IV

Hello darklings, Kidna Styx here.

Have you ever found yourself dancing across a club toward a complete strangera person you weren’t even remotely attracted to just moments earlier? Ever seen someone at the gym lift a stack of weights without breaking a sweat?

Well, my dear vampire friend Pandora would like to tell you that it’s not always the alcohol or endorphins! Fortunately for us, Pandora isn’t afraid to “bite and tell” about what’s really going on, as she gives use the inside scoop on a few of the vampire’s best tricks.

Hypnotism

The ability to attract prey is one of the vampire’s best tools. Aside from snakes, what other species on the planet can make their prey come to them? Its almost like shooting fish in a barrel. Good thing vampires are so hard to make or humanity would have been picked off years ago.

Whatever it is, the vampires key to attracting their prey lies in pheromones, not in hypnotism. Once you see a human you want to feed on, the pheromones just start coming. Im sure there are vampires that hypnotize, but I dont see a point in that when your prey is already coming to you like lemmings off a cliff.

That said, no two vampires are alike. Just like humans, we vary in looks, strength, size, and ability. Some prefer to stalk, some seduce, while others simply wait for their prey like a spider in a web. Vampires, above all the supernatural creatures are unique in that people/prey find them fascinating. Maybe its the pheromones, their savage beauty, their alluring mystique, or maybe they just think Brad Pitt was a hot vampire in Interview with the Vampire.

Advice

If you suddenly notice yourself getting into a super mood, you might want to think about what your doing. I wasn’t able to, obviously since I was turned into a vampire—which means having been attracted by one—so take my advice for what it is. Hindsight is 20/20.

The desire will be seriously difficult to ignore. Humans and most animals have the base sense to feed and breed. So I don’t know how much knowing this will help, but try to keep all of this in mind when your sashaying across the dance floor toward someone you did not find remotely attractive a moment before. It’s not always just the alcohol.

Strength

Another happy side effect of being a member of the blood sucking legion is supernatural strength. Just call me the Terminator. No need to hire friends to help me move. I can lift my couch with one hand.

However it does take some getting used to. For instance, I believe in a firm handshake, but I learned to take it easy after sending my friend’s cousin to the emergency room with busted digits. Telling the doc “I just dont know my own strength” didnt go over well. We finally had to tell the doc that he crushed it in a car door.

They ate that up.

Advice

Don’t go around challenging vampires to arm wrestling contests.

Pandora’s Guide to Vampires: Part III

Hello darklings, Kidna Styx here.

Here’s a little tidbit straight from the pen of my vampire friend Pandora Grey Blackheart, the third part of Pandora’s Guidebook to Vampires:

Welcome to part three of my supernatural guide. Everyone’s heard stories that warn of things that go bump in the night—things with fangs and things with claws. but when it comes down to it, would anyone, any human, be ready to bump back? They may disregard things they don’t understand, but pieces of it would cling to the subconscious. So if a person happens to run into one of these beings, they would have that much more chance of surviving the encounter.

This little guide is specifically about vampires. Figured I would write what I know. Now you too will be able to spot a bloodsucker should you come in contact with one. I mean the odds of that are like 1 in 1000, there’s a lot of you humans. But you small few will be grateful for this heads up. Forewarned is forearmed and all that.

Healing

It’s true that we heal rapidly, and I’m happy for it because healing sucks. It takes forever when you’re human. Once, in my late teens, I sprained my knee and couldn’t walk for a month. If I sprain something now, the pain is gone before you can say “What pothole?” and I’m up and around.

When a vampire breaks a bone, it’s almost as though his or her body knows what configuration it should be in. So instead of the normal human healing process of swelling, vampire muscles contract and force the bones back into their original position. Strangely enough it only seems to take a few minutes for this to happen—depending on whether the bone was cleanly broken or crushed.

Regardless, it’s a pretty unpleasant sensation. Even as a vampire, pain is something I try to avoid. When things are severed, there is a grace period of about a week where you can have the limb reattached, and then it takes about an hour to fully reconnect all the tendons, bones, and muscles.

Pretty spiff considering the alternative.

If the body part is not reconnected, it goes into stasis and a new arm or hand begins to regrow. The head is tricky though. This is usually the first thing you do to kill a vamp because it puts them out of commission for a long time. If severed, you have to put it back in place and bind it. It won’t heal for upwards of 10 years though. Best to bury it so no one disturbs the process.

As for cuts, our blood is thick and strong, like super glue strong, and once it dries lacerations practically heal before your eyes.

If you injure a vampire badly enough, you may have time to get away. But not long. So if you attack, make it a good one.

Pandora’s Guidebook to Vampires: Part II

 

Welcome to part two of Pandora’s supernatural guide. Last time I gave you a little intro into my vampire world, now lets get down to the nitty-gritty.  Today’s misconception is that Vampire = Goth.

Everyone’s heard stories that warn you of things that go bump in the night—things with fangs and things with claws—but when it comes down to it, would anyone, any human, be ready to bump back? They may disregard things they don’t understand, but pieces would still cling to the subconscious. So, if a person happens to run into one of these beings, they would have that much more chance of surviving the encounter.

 

Vampire = Goth

 

I’ve thought about how much easier it would be to explain the pale skin and fangs if I were Gothic. You know what I mean, dye my hair, wear black vinyl and go around scowling at normal people.

I just can’t.

I like Goth stuff actually. Even as a human, Halloween was my favorite holiday. I love to dress up now and again, don the black duds and go to the Goth clubs, but it isn’t an everyday lifestyle for me. It’s too much damned work!

Call me lazy, but I tried it for a couple days. The hair and makeup alone is ridiculous. Not to mention the clothes. Whoever designs Goth wear is not designing it for daily use. It just isn’t practical. They got spikes that catch and rip everything in sight, zippers with no pockets. I mean seriously, how hard is it to make a pocket? If I’m paying a hundred dollars for a pair of pants, I expect a pocket.

Most Vampires don’t dress Goth. True, many of them have their own unique style, usually depending on the time and region of their origin, but most of us are looking to fit in, not stick out. And your average Goths sticks out like Kristie Alley in Daisy Dukes.

What I’m saying is, as much as Goth Kids would like it, Vampire does not equal Goth.

 

Advice

OK, yeah, so goth kids can be a bit strange. I’m not saying make best friends with them because they’re probably not vampires, but we’re less likely to be in that scene since we don’t want to stick out. 

However, there is the occasional vampire that likes the scene, generally vamps who grew up in the 1600’s or 1980’s.

Better advice? I suggest keeping an eye out for the unexpected. Vampires tend to stalk, its rare when one will just attack you out of nowhere. Odds are they saw you somewhere before, possibly earlier that evening. But some will hunt for days before striking to make sure they aren’t seen—and that your blood isn’t polluted. A little blood alcohol buzz is nice every now and again though.

So, if you see a strangely pale person giving you the eye, casually stay away. This also works with strange humans. You probably don’t want to make friends with anyone who is staring at you like you’re a T-bone steak.

Maybe spray some extra perfume on yourself. Vampires cant stand when they cant tell your blood type in one whiff.

Pandora’s Guidebook to Vampires: Part I

 

Hello Darklings, Kidna Styx here.

Here’s a little tidbit from my vampire friend Pandora Grey Blackheart. She felt like she just had to set you straight on a few supernatural misconceptions.

So here it is, straight from the vampire’s pen, the first part of Pandora’s Guidebook to Vampires… 

Pandora Grey BlackheartThat’s right, I’m a Vampire. Okay, I know what you’re thinking, but before you get all Nosferatu on me, just hear what I’ve got to say. As you’ve probably guessed, I can’t stand sunlight, I have fangs, and I drink blood. The bare minimum required to be a Vampire. However, as many tales suppose, I don’t cringe at the sight of crosses, turn to ash in daylight, get burned by silver, sparkle, or live in a castle on top of a barren mountain surrounded by dark storm clouds.

Still with me?

Okay then.

My name is Pandora Grey Blackheart. I know, with a name like that I’m not surprised I got turned into a Vampire either. Being born in the 60’s, my parents literally were hippies. When my mother dubbed me Pandora, she was rebelling against her own name, Mary—the most common female name in history.

I looked it up.

To say my friends are eclectic would be a gross understatement. My best friend is a werewolf. My brother is a zombie. And the one human friend we have is just waiting for me to turn him. Yes, I know, promising to turn someone into a vampire so they will take your shift at work is unethical, but hey, I’m a vampire.

I, unlike most vampires, enjoy humans, and not just the way someone enjoys bacon. My Maker tells me that I ‘do not yet understand the ways of our world.’ Well sue me, I don’t. I believe that humans should know what they are up against.

The ‘Order,’ a group of humans and supernaturals that keep peace in our ‘Community,’ don’t want the human population to know about us. With all the strange things in this world, you’d think they’d have a more progressive standpoint.

However, traditions are deeply ingrained in our kind. A lifetime of hiding is not an easy thing to breed out in a society with an average lifespan of two centuries. They’re like octogenarians who keep their pantries stocked incase a world war should crop up. But instead of a war I suppose, the old vamps would be looking out for angry mobs with pitchforks or something.

Everyone’s heard stories that warn you of things that go bump in the night. Things with fangs and things with claws. But when it comes down to it, would anyone, any human, be ready to bump back? Sure, it would take some time to get over the initial shock. It’s not easy to think you’re the most powerful beings on earth and be proven wrong, but humans will adapt… eventually. There have been enough movies about vampires and zombies, ghosts and the Boogieman, (whose real name is Irwin). I’m sure they wouldn’t all freak out. We’d just have to correct a few misconceptions, put down a couple rules, and we could all live together. Of course I’ve seen how well that worked on True Blood, but come on, that show, although awesome, is kinda ridiculous.

I know not everything is peace, love, and daisies, but people should at least have a fighting chance. They may disregard things they don’t understand, but pieces of it would cling to the subconscious. Hopefully the important pieces, like knowing that gnomes will drop almost any attack for a Snickers Bar or that any shiny object can easily distract a fairy. So, if a person happens to run into one of these beings, they would have that much more chance of surviving the encounter.

This is why my little guide to, is specifically about vampires. Figured I would start by writing what I know. Now you too will be able to spot a blood sucker, should you come in contact with one. I mean the odds of that are are like 1 in 1000, there are a lot of you humans. But you small few will be grateful for this heads up. Forewarned is forearmed and all that.

Then again, maybe I’m just idealistic. Probably one of the reasons I get in trouble so often.

 

Ithiria and the Creation of the Vacant Realm with Kidna Styx

DSC_0757

Hello Darklings,

I’m Kidna Styx, mother of all monsters, and I’ll be your guide into the world of Ithiria. It is a world similar to the one you know, only much larger. A world, partitioned by vast walls of magic that keep Ithiria from destruction.

Whole realms exist within these separated lands. One of these very realms contains the world as you know it, Earth.  We call it the Vacant Realm.

Now, assuming that you’re onboard with the idea that your world is just one piece of a larger puzzle, let me give you a little history lesson.

Ithiria was once a great Pangea that split into several continents due to a world war.

In this war, weapons of magic and electricity clashed, destroying whole mountains and cutting craters into the earth deep enough to create new oceans. Eventually the world of Ithiria became so polluted that the land itself broke apart leaving the earth demolished and civilizations separated.

Something had to be done.

Putting their differences aside, a group of immortal beings came together and sectioned off the lands, keeping magic from electric so that no further damage would be inflicted. Along these magic-based borders they left access points called gates where one could cross between lands with specially designed keys.

If you attempt to cross the border without using a gate, you’ll find yourself transported seamlessly to the other side of your land—as though your realm were its own globe. Should you enter a gate without a key—you won’t make it to the other side. Alas, you’ll be dead.

So in the end there were 13 separate realms, the largest being nearly half of Ithiria where magic and electric currents had become so muddled that nothing could survive. It was a desolate chunk they called the Vacant Realm.

But our realm isn’t vacant, you might protest.

Well, for centuries, the Vacant Realm was used to banish criminals. Punishment that was considered a death sentence to any who crossed into the territory. However there is a lot to be said about Mother Nature and the ability to adapt. Eventually the chaotic elements settled and the banished began to thrive. Of course no one outside the Vacant Realm knew that. Out of sight, out of mind, as they say.

You mean I’m descended from criminals? you might panic.

Don’t feel too bad about it. You’re not the first rose to spring from the mud. The whole affair has been repeated many times throughout history. Just look at Australia.

When I first arrived in the Vacant Realm, I myself was surprised to discover civilizations and whole generations of people with no knowledge of the other lands. At the time, the greatest concentration called themselves the Greeks.

It was only in the last few hundred years that the other realms noticed that the Vacant Realm was not so vacant after all. Many outsiders now cross the barriers into the Vacant Realm.

Sure, I was banished here, but personally I love the Vacant Realm—There’s no place like it. And it’s not too hard for me to keep a low profile since the population is largely non-magical. I mean, they’ve barely discovered electricity. Not to mention, it’s nice to go about my day without worrying about flash dirt, trolls, or sprites.

So, this is Ithiria as it came to be and this realms in which we live. A land that lies so close and yet is so separate from its sister realms.

Unpleasant screams 😉

It can be dangerous to travel through Ithiria alone. A friend of mine from the Vacant Realm—went to visit the Black Forest of Old World to find her friend Abe in the Ever After Cemetery. On the way, she was nearly eaten by a ware spider! Well, that would have been the end of her, but luckily shes a vampire, and ware spiders aren’t too fond of vampire blood. Still, it took her a good hour or two to get out of the web. So don’t let something like that happen to you. Let Kidna Styx be your guide. Just enter your email below and receive a FREE story from The Centennial. We think you’re gonna love it!